Do young people have a word for "stealing" their friends' friends?
What do you call it when person A introduces person B to her friends C and D and then person B starts up a friendship with C and sort of leaves A out of the loop?
I don't just mean starts a romantic relationship with (though I'm interested in any words or phrases for that too), but just in general, any sense of how people would talk about leveraging your friends to make new friends?
The specific manifestation of this that I'm interested in is combing your Facebook friends' friend lists and requesting folks you find there to be your friends. Ever heard anyone talk about this phenomenon? Any name for it? Is it OK to do or does it suggest that one "can't make one's own friends"?
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I haven't specifically used any word to describe this, however "facebook stalking" is what my friends and I refer to as using facebook to a) get to check up on/get to know a person, or b) poaching a fellow friends friend for romance or friendship.
ReplyDeleteAlso I would try www.urbandictionary.com
Dan, are you referring to the practice of requesting folks from A's friend list you already know offline, or requesting folks you merely "know of" through person A? I have heard people talk about both phenomena but haven't heard names for them. Usually the suggestion is not that the person "can't make their own friends" but that they're a different type of FB user, one that seeks quantity over quality friends. This mode of FB use is more common in younger users, the under 25 crowd I'd say.
ReplyDeleteI agree that "facebook-stalking" is related to this phenomenon. As in, "I was facebook-stalking her for a while, and after I ran into her with so-and-so, our mutual friend, I friend requested her on FB and now we comment on each other's statuses every day."
I generally let facebook suggest who I might know, although I have trolled the depths of my friends' friend lists a few times.
ReplyDeleteBut I am writing to let you know of the Facebook Data team (just search from the search box) which is the in house social science team at facebook. They had some input into the Dunbar number article in the economist a little while back, and I think looking at their page might interest you.
I am wary of anything beginning with "Do the young people..." That said, this is a cool thing to think about. I think that is more to in real life than Facebook life though. Don't have a word for it though, nor does anyone I know. But it is definitely a phenomenon and I have been on both sides. It does always feel a little weird when B and C become better friends than either of them were with A. It is weird whether you are A or C in that equation. btw, I am young.
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